Sometimes, as Mr. Dangerfield notes, when we want something in the worst way, that is exactly how we get it.
The GOP’s relationship with Donald Trump can best be understood by a sketch from the show’s very first season, which I remember watching, which aired on January 31, 1976, titled, Alcohol and Firearms Don’t Mix.
What legislative body has the power to stop Donald Trump? Congress, of course. They can pull the plug anytime they want, simply by saying “Enough is enough.” But they continue to want to believe that his value to him as President more than offsets the damage he causes and the scandals that surround him. And in doing so, they remind me of Jane Curtin’s character “Anne” in this sketch.
In the sketch, Anne is anxiously waiting for her boyfriend Michael, played by Chevy Chase, to come home from his hunting trip. She believes that he will propose to her. In fact, reading the book, The Total Woman ("It's only when a woman surrenders her life to her husband, reveres and worships him and is willing to serve him, that she becomes really beautiful to him"), Anne will let no calamity or catastrophe get in the way of her dream of engagement. She wants that in the worst way.
It doesn’t matter to Anne that Chase’s character, Michael, accidentally shot her dog on the way in.
Michael: Oh, Anne, I'm terribly sorry, I--
Anne: [rushes to him] No problem, Michael, no problem, he... was getting old anyway.
Michael: You sure?
Anne: My God, in dog age, he was close to seven.
Nothing will distract her from letting him “pop the question.” Not even another shot out the kitchen window.
Her son Duke, played by John Belushi is home early from school.
Duke: Sure. Say, what's wrong with Skippy? He looks sick.
[laughter]
Anne: No, no, Duke, he's tired, he's sleeping.
Duke: Oh, that's strange. The mailman's lying in the lawn.
[laughter]
Duke: He must be sleeping too.
When Michael accidentally shoots Duke as well, Ann says “No problem!”
Michael: Anne... that was your son!
Anne: That's right--it was my son. But we can't live in the past, now, can we? We must live for today and... tomorrow. Our tomorrow. [slowly pushes him into chair] Right, Michael?
Nor is it a problem when her daughter Patty, played by Laraine Newman, meets the same fate.
Patty: I was in the shower, I could've sworn I--
[Michael lifts up his rifle reflexively and fires another perfect shot.]
Patty: Uhhhhhhh... [drops to the floor]
Anne: [closing her eyes] My late daughter.
Michael: [stands up] Oh. I, I am, now, am very sorry...
Anne: [grabs his arms] No problem, Michael, no problem. Look, Patty was young, but those were nineteen fruitful years.
And that’s the relationship between the GOP and Trump, in a nutshell, except that Trump is not the least bit sorry.
The GOP has their agenda, and they want it in the worst way; the way Anne wanted that ring, and the way Rodney wanted sex.
The Constitution set up checks and balances, and Congress is charged with checking the Power of the President. As Colin Jost on Weekend Update noted just last night, “Let me just say what a thrill it is to be alive at a time when ‘Porn star blackmails President’ is like the 4th biggest story of the week. At this rate in a year from now, we are gonna see the headline, ‘TRUMP FOUND WITH DEAD HOOKER’ right next to the crossword puzzle.”
With any other President, the news that a porn star blackmailed the President for $130,000 to promise not to tell that they had had sex would have taken him down yesterday. I mean, that goes without saying, right? Yet, I say it to remind us all how bizarre this all is, and how Congress could do something about this — and won’t. They won’t because of what they want, in the worst way.
Why? Because Congress is more interested in enabling Trump so that they can ram through their agenda.
If Fox News dug it’s teeth into any of this, as it does with all things Hillary, or the GOP Congressional Leadership picked up on the fact that the President was blackmailed by a porn star; or is suspected of having dementia; or called Haiti and African countries “Shitholes” — and that was just this week! — not to mention the other high crimes and misdemeanors from the past year — it would be over.
The GOP in Congress have a problem, and they see it clearly as it approaches in November.
Because they are Anne.
And herein lies the cautionary tale:
Michael: Look--
[His rifle goes off and shoots Anne point-blank in the right lung. Anne grimaces and glances down.]
Michael: Anne? Anne. Are you all right?
Anne: No problem, just hurry up, what was it that you wanted to ask? [stifles a laugh]
Of course, Anne dies before he can get the ring out. Or, she could have put the ring on and died a happy woman. Either way, she is dead.